For a long time, I thought that if I didn’t thank The Universe, I would somehow be punished.
So I became fanatical about saying ‘thank you’ with desperation in my heart.
I thought if I was grateful enough, The Universe wouldn’t take anything away from me; loved ones would live as long as me, friends would always be friends, health and wellness would be a given.
I thought that if I didn’t thank The Universe enough, I would no longer be loved.
That I would be ignored, rejected and cast out; that if I didn’t show my gratitude, The Universe would move on from me to someone else, someone new and more exciting, more ‘in-tune’ than me, more ‘positive-minded’ and upbeat and “trendy” with their gratitude practice.
I thought if I thanked The Universe enough for its love and support, I would eventually start to feel loved and supported.
But those feelings never came.
Until one morning, sitting in meditation, something shifted in me.
One word, one statement, one notion came to me gently and calmly with ease, like the kind of ease that comes with remembering a phone number, or a friend’s birthday.
…and then relief washed over me; my cheeks got hot and tears fell from my eyes.
For so long I had been praying and meditating for The Universe to soothe my perceived lack; to fill the gap of fear I had about being abandoned, stranded and rejected. I’d been sending a message to The Universe to save my sorry soul because I thought I was eternally lost.
By doing that, I was blocking my access to the love and support that The Universe had been providing all along.
You see, the thing I learned that day, is that the unconditional love, peace and support from The Universe is a constant. Even through change; even through heartache; even through loss and grief and turmoil.
It doesn’t ebb and flow according to how many ‘thank you’ prayers you pray.
My old beliefs meant I restricted myself from feeling loved and supported because I had not entertained the concept that it is safe to receive love and support.
That it is safe to surrender to love and support.
My old beliefs said, “I am separate from The Universe, therefore I have to earn love and support by being a certain way…”
…but when I opened up the possibility that I am The Universe and The Universe is me I dipped my toe into the idea that love is constant. That I am love. That you are love. That we are love.
It is All That Is and it is for you, always, always, always.
It is safe to receive.