A love note for 5th line profiles…
and a few words I’d like to say to my younger self
Have you ever had a Compassion Hangover in your life?
I’m experiencing one at the moment.
I’m a 5/2 profile. That means I live in a projection field. People don’t see me, they see themselves. This has played out in a lifetime of people either grossly underestimating me, or having grossly inflated expectations of me that I cannot (and will not) fulfil.
Either way, it’s been a gig I wouldn’t consciously choose again, nor would I recommend it to anyone considering re-incarnating. (That’s my sense of humour, there. Relax.)
As a 5th line profile who lives in this mirrored world of the projection field, you see all of it.
You see the different perspectives, and perceptions. You see when expectations are glowing out of people’s eyes, and when expectations are seething from the tenseness in their jaw (neither of which are ‘good’ for you, by the way).
And here’s the thing: every single projection is ungracious towards you.
Every single one is dishonest.
Every single one – yes, even the projection that ‘you’re a wonderful, amazing shining person !’ – is in actual fact, a lie.
Other 5th lines will tell you – when you encounter a projected un-met need from someone – even though it has NOTHING to do with you personally – it can be a vicious, nasty route to navigate.
And usually, the other person moves along with no awareness whatsoever that the shit they just unleashed onto you has everything to do with THEIR UNHEALED BAGGAGE, and nothing to do with you.
“But you were going to save me! You were going to fix this for me! You were going to be the one person I was going to trust to get things done!”
This is common in the reality of the 5th line profile.
Read it again – none of it has anything to do with you.
So, what do we do instead?
Because let’s face it: compassion hangovers suck the life force out of you and that’s a dull, pointless way to live.
We practice radical discernment.
We refrain from apologising for who we are.
We get explicitly clear in our communication about what we will, and will not do, provide, & create in partnership or collaboration of any kind. That includes communication with family.
We feel what we feel. This is especially vital for those who are emotionally defined. I have a lifetime of stored up emotion that I’ve been suppressing because I was afraid it would be ‘mean’ or ‘low vibe’ or ‘too intense’ for others. Fuck that. Feel what you feel.
(PS suppressing your real, raw emotional landscape is also Dishonest.)
And – this is the part I want to share with my younger self – you don’t have to be NICE to everyone just because you feel their life story, or you sense their soul journey.
You don’t have to be nice to ANYONE in fact, if you don’t want to.
Lighten up, and laugh at the absurdity of it all.
People will take you personally your whole life, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
You are not responsible for saving other people from the repercussions of their own mis-directed projections.
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